


Here’s some faves from my camera roll this year

by natigail



Series: Phan Reality One Shots [16]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2020!Phan, Birthday Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Introspection, M/M, Photographs, Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natigail/pseuds/natigail
Summary: 1 birthday tweet. 4 photos. 4 domestic memories. 1 smiling Phil. 1 fond Dan.* 1st Place: Best Present!Phan for the Phanfiction Awards 2020 *
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: Phan Reality One Shots [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/788379
Comments: 17
Kudos: 137





	Here’s some faves from my camera roll this year

**Author's Note:**

> Also known as how I deal with adorable and domestic photos. Enjoy!

“Do I get approval privileges?” Dan asked, tilting his head towards Phil who was scrolling through the photos he’d put a heart on in his camera roll.

He’d considered just going into the person tab and scroll through all of the photos that had been identified as Dan by the phone itself, but it would miss some out. It might mistake Dan for bread or something and not identify him correctly. Phil wanted to have all his options for great Dan photos open.

“Hmm,” Phil just hummed, eyes focused on the phone instead of Dan. He wasn’t really listening to him. Dan knew that.

“Phil,” Dan said, only he didn’t really say. It was more of a high-picked whine of a noise than a name. Phil knew him well enough to tell what he meant.

He was annoyed that Phil was ignoring him, as if they hadn’t spent all day hanging out and he’d made sure to get him presents and his favourite foods.

“Dan,” Phil called back, still scrolling through his camera roll. He had too many photos, specifically he had too many photos of Dan. Okay that wasn’t true. He would never have too many photos of Dan. It was more a case of it being annoying because it was almost impossible to narrow it down to just four candidates. Maybe he should do a double tweet?

“You know it’s rude to post photos of someone without their permission,” Dan said, and Phil heard it half-heartedly now. Just enough to make him crack a smile.

“Do I need to remind you of the cereal series you posted a couple of years back?” Phil asked, looking up from his phone for the first time in minutes.

As he’d been expecting, Dan was pouting and looking entirely too squishable. Phil almost wanted to put the phone down and go fall into his arms. He resisted the urge. He had a mission to accomplish.

A new tradition to uphold. They’d let go of so many old traditions lately but last year he’d picked his four favourite Dan photos from his camera roll and he would do it again. He knew people were anticipating it or something similar.

He knew Dan was also expecting a tweet in one manner or another.

“That was self-defence,” Dan said, and Phil could hear his pout, even if he wasn’t looking at him.

“How?” he asked, more fondness creeping into his tone. He picked his first photo.

“You were murdering my cereal,” Dan argued, in a deadpan voice.

That got Phil to look up from his phone, but only to shoot Dan a smirk as he rose to the bait that Dan had put down. They knew each other too well, and Dan knew it was coming too. He looked at Phil expectantly.

“So, was I a cereal killer?” he asked, smiling wholeheartedly because his words made Dan snort and roll his eyes but it also made that small smile appear on his lips. The one where fondness just leaked out.

“I’m done with you and you’re supposed to be nice to me on my birthday,” Dan said with a sigh. He didn’t look done with Phil at all. In fact, he looked entirely smitten, even after all these years.

“Why don’t you leave me in peace to pick the most embarrassing photos I can, and answer all those messages while it’s still your birthday? You know you’ll feel better than leaving it for tomorrow,” Phil said and decided on a second photo.

“I hate it when you’re right,” Dan said, pulling his own phone out.

“Then you must hate me a whole lot,” Phil said, grinning.

“Shut up.”

Phil lifted his phone and snapped a photo of Dan, just because he could.

It was a bad photo, a little blurry and a little rushed. He wouldn’t be including it in the top Dan photos of the last year, but he still smiled at his screen. He had so many photos of Dan just in bed or on the couch. Where he’d just reach for his phone and want to capture the moment.

He’d once read a quote that had never quite left his mind.

_If you want to learn what someone fears losing, watch what they photograph._

Phil felt like it captured them a little too well. They’d captured almost everything in photos and on video. So much of their relationship and their growth was captured, and often shared. They had both found something so incredible that they’d been a little worried that they’d lose it one day.

They’d talked about that a couple of years in. They’d put some of those fears to rest. They were both in this. Wholeheartedly. None of them saw it changing. Not now. Not ever.

Phil watched Dan and he thought that maybe the quote had it wrong. Maybe people didn’t photograph what they were afraid of losing. Maybe they photographed what they so desperately wanted to hold onto. He supposed that the fear of the loss could be wrapped up in that but he didn’t really feel like that around Dan anymore.

He wasn’t scared of losing him. They had each other. A lot of things was changing around them but that wouldn’t. Phil knew.

He smiled down at his phone again, scrolling through the camera roll until he settled on the penultimate photo. He looked over the three photos. They were good ones. Gems each and every one of them. None of them were necessarily gems because of the quality but rather because of the memories tied to them.

Phil was debating between two Dan photos for the fourth and final photo when he ended up scrolling through the Starcourt Mall photos again. He didn’t have one of just Dan from that day, but he did have a joint selfie. Last year, he’d only picked Dan photos in honour of Dan, but… he missed sharing photos of him and Dan. They looked good together. He decided on his fourth photo.

Phil looked over them just one more time, while he thought of how to phrase his tweet.

_It had been a hot day. They’d decided to stop for ice cream at a pretentious ice cream shop that Dan had spied out of the corner of his eye._

_“Up for an indulgence?” Dan had asked, already tugging on Phil’s sleeve, like he was a child who’d seen… well, the ice cream truck._

_Phil giggled a little at his own thought. “Sure.”_

_Dan took about ten minutes deciding on a flavour, and Phil wanted to stay that he could never call him the indecisive one again. Well, until next time when Phil would just mutter “I don’t know” when Dan asked him what he wanted to do._

_He’d gotten teased enough that he felt like he could tease back._

_“Get in my mouth, you saucy fuck?” Phil asked under his breath as they walked away with their respective cones. The swear felt a little odd on his tongue, out in public, which made him feel like he should stick to her AmazingPhil non-swearing strategy, but he couldn’t resist._

_Dan twisted around to face Phil and looked like one big question mark._

_“What?” he asked, fond and confused. “Did you just say something about a saucy fuck?”_

_Okay, Phil had counted on Dan remembering that moment. Maybe because it had brought Phil so much joy. It had felt like Dan had been in France for too long that summer and Phil had missed him more than he was willing to admit to anyone. That Instagram story had made him full on cackle and it had both eased the longing and worsened it. Still, Phil wouldn’t have gone without seeing Dan say “get in my mouth, you saucy fuck” while eating a Minion ice cream of all things._

_“From your France Instagram story?” Phil asked, smiling both at the memory and the expression Dan was currently wearing._

_“Did I say that? Oh, yeah, I did. Fuck. How’d you remember that?”_

_“Guess, I just remember a lot of things about you,” Phil said, in a teasing and challenging tone, laying down bait that he knew that Dan would take._

_“Not as much as I know about you. I pride myself on my extensive knowledge on one Philip Michael Lester.”_

_“Listing off my full name is impressing no one, Daniel James Howell. Frankly, I’d be insulted if you didn’t know my name.”_

_“Said the guy who’s forgot my age multiple times.”_

_“Time moves too fast,” Phil argued. “And you’ve forgotten your own age once.”_

_And Phil didn’t really care about getting older, or Dan getting older, as long as they were doing it together. Phil had thought he might freak out when he moved past 30 but he only felt better as the years moved on. More settled. More in love._

_“You’re weird,” Dan said, but Phil heard the secret “I love you” just fine._

_Dan finally turned his focus to his ice cream instead of Phil and Phil ignored his own cone in favour of quickly pulling out his phone and snapping a photo. He had a compilation of Dan eating ice cream already and it was always good to add to collections._

_Dan noticed Phil’s phone too late, but when he did, he huffed out a fond noise that Phil would never tire of hearing._

__

_Dan hadn’t quite managed to bend the new sofa to the curve of his spine or the imprint of his ass but he did give it his best shot. He spent a lot of hours on the sofa, just hanging out._

_Phil did too. They both immensely loved their sofa time. It felt different from being in bed time. Like they’d made a bit of an effort to get out of the bed and start the day, even if they might just end up doing the exact same thing._

_Dan was having one of those days where he felt like everything was making him a little prickly. Phil knew how to spot them by now, and he let Dan have his space unless he explicitly asked for more contact._

_It was only when Phil walked into the lounge and saw that Dan had moved the collar of his shirt up to cover his chin that he wondered if he should check in with him, just to be sure. It was another habit of Dan’s, one that had been more prominent in the last few years, and Phil couldn’t help but be a little proud of it._

_After all, Phil had been the one who had a tendency to hide in his shirts first. He treasured every single their traits that had rubbed off on each other. It was a little declaration of love._

_Kind of a: I see what you do and I imitate it, even if I don’t mean to._

_Phil loved it a whole lot._

_“Who you hiding from?” Phil asked, letting himself plop down on the sofa next to Dan._

_“My comments. On Basically I’m Gay.”_

_“You’re rereading?” Phil asked._

_“Yeah,” Dan said with a little shake in his voice._

_On a better day, Phil would instantly have pulled Dan into his arms and held him tight but now he settled for just a hand on his knee. Dan didn’t dive back into that comment section too much because he got emotional. It was one supportive message after another, Phil had checked._

_“Some days, it doesn’t feel real, you know? It doesn’t feel like I actually did it. I’ve… I’ve wanted to do it for so long, but sometimes I just forget that this is a thing that actually happened. I’m out. You’re out. We’re gay.”_

_“We are gay,” Phil said, smiling so wide that his face almost hurt._

_“Stop grinning like a maniac,” Dan complained and pulled up his shirt even higher to cover his nose as well._

_“Stop hiding,” Phil called softly._

_“You can’t tell me what to do,” Dan said, but there was humour in his voice now. It sounded a little lighter, a little less burdened._

_“What if I want to see your beautiful face?” Phil asked and whipped out his phone and opened the camera app._

_“You’re not taking a photo of me while I’m like this!” Dan protested._

_Phil instantly dropped his hand; he didn’t actually want to push past boundaries that Dan legitimately set. Dan noticed his dropping hand, and the expression he was wearing and he rolled his eyes. Too fond._

_“Want a photo?” Dan asked._

_“Not if you’re-”_

_But Phil didn’t even get to finish before Dan had pulled his shirt all the way up to his hairline. Now Phil could only see the mop of gorgeous curls and he really liked that Dan had stopped straightening it. It suited him like this. Wild and gorgeous._

_Dan still had his laptop in his lap and his phone in his hand._

_“Huh, I can see through this,” he commented, like this was entirely normal. He went back to scrolling on his phone._

_Phil got to his feet smiling and left Dan to it. He seemed in better spirits now. Phil wondered if the black shirt was enough to obscure things a bit, so he wouldn’t be so emotionally affected if he was indeed diving back into the comments. Or maybe he just felt better because he could hide._

_Phil had meant to just leave, get back to his own work, but he raised his phone and snapped another photo of Dan. Dan didn’t look his way, not for a second, but he did need to._

_Phil had always thought that Dan was the most beautiful when he was just quietly existing. Even if that meant existing with a shirt shoved over his face._

_It was his Dan, and he loved every part of him._

__

_Dan had a lot of meetings out of the flat for his project lately. His secret project as he insisted on calling it, just because of the old cliché of YouTubers having secret projects that they’d mention all of the time ages before they were allowed to say anything._

_Dan hadn’t done that. He’d just quietly and diligently worked. Phil was so proud of him for what he was creating._

_But he did hate that it created a bit of an air of loneliness in the flat while Dan was out. Phil could usually hear Dan as he moved around the flat, no matter where he was. It was like he’d developed a fine-tuned mechanism that could easy and instantly locate Dan._

_Phil liked it. He liked that they just quietly co-existed during some hours of the day. Not together, exactly, but not apart either. Not at all._

_When Phil’s phone lit up with a FaceTime notification from Dan, he fumbled so much with his phone that he almost couldn’t manage to slide to accept. He did, just barely._

_He was greeted with the image of Dan, in the back of a car. He still looked like he’d left this morning when Phil had waved him off and sprouted some bullshit about being the maiden waiting for the solider to return home._

_Considering how his chest ached at the image of Dan, he hadn’t been far off. After just a few hours apart, Phil was itching to just talk to Dan. He always had things to tell or show him. Dan was his sounding board and he was Dan’s. They never tried to execute an idea without asking for the other one’s opinion._

_“Hi Danny boy, is my soldier coming home?” Phil asked teasingly._

_Dan shook his head and smiled._

_“Phil don’t call me that,” he reprimanded but it was soft, fond, like it always was with him._

_“Whatever. You on your way home?”_

_“Yeep,” Dan said in agreement._

_“Talking in front of the driver make you nervous?” Phil asked, knowingly. He knew so many of Dan’s worries and quirks._

_“’Cause announcing that out loud isn’t awkward at all,” Dan said, eyes darting forward to what must be the driver. “I will start miming instead if you don’t stop.”_

_The threat was laced with too much fondness for Phil to take it seriously._

_“And what would that look like?” Phil challenged, because Dan had never been able to pass up a challenge._

_Dan didn’t disappoint, he pressed his pointer finger to his nose and pulled it up. Phil wanted to fall over laughing but he had enough of a mind to quickly snap a screenshot before he let himself do that._

_It was an old reflex, one that didn’t get flexed a lot anymore but Phil was happy to see that it still worked perfectly. It better after what must have been hundreds of screenshots of Skype calls in the early years, where Phil had always tried to catch Dan laughing or smiling. He’d looked back over those grainy and shitty screenshots in their time apart._

_Old habits die hard._

_“You took a screenshot, didn’t you?” Dan asked, one eyebrow raised accusatory._

_“No,” Phil said, smiling all over his face, as he lied._

_“I will throttle you when I get home,” Dan warned, mirth in his eyes._

_“I will look forward to it,” Phil said, smirking. And then he was overcome with another wave of missing Dan, even if he was about to be here. “Get home soon, yeah?”_

_“As fast as I can, Phil,” Dan promised._

__

_Phil liked double-dates very much. He got to hang out with his brother, one of his closest friends and of course, Dan. Dan didn’t really have a set label to describe him in Phil’s brain. It had been too long of Dan just being Dan in Phil’s mind._

_It was like there was never quite a label that had fit on him. It seemed fitting considering how he felt about labels. Even so, Phil had to admit that he had gotten a little emotional about the words that Dan had carefully chosen to describe them in his coming out video last year._

_Best friends. Companions through life. Literal soulmates._

_Phil had playfully hit him when he’d heard that bit of the video, not because he was angry but because he was so overwhelmed with his feelings that he hadn’t even known how to get them out other than slapping at Dan._

_Dan had just laughed and let him get several hits in before he’d gently trapped his hands and quietly and softly, asked if it was okay. Phil’s brain had backfired so much that he’d tried to throw himself into Dan’s arms and kiss him at the same time._

_It had been a disaster but it had gotten the message across._

_Another word for Dan could be date-mate. It seemed playful and nice. Phil had liked it; Dan had just glared at him like he couldn’t believe he had willingly handed his heart over to Phil when he’d just been eighteen years old. Phil would always be thankful for that._

_They had followed Stranger Things ever since it had aired, just like the rest of the world, and Phil had felt deprived that they’d have to wait even further for a new season. He just wanted more. He was of the binge generation and he liked to just sit down and consume._

_The Stranger Things experience came at just the right time. Of course, Martyn and Cornelia were there too. Phil was really happy that he got to hang out with them so relatively often. Almost as much as he loved how Dan cared about them just as much as he did._

_Martyn had taken to Dan like an older brother, and welcomed him right into the family. Phil couldn’t even believe he’d been scared, once upon a time in a land that felt so far away, of what it might be like to introduce Martyn to his future someone._

_The exhibition and the experience were incredible and Phil was just mesmerised by the whole thing. He liked playing along to the games, even if it meant talking to strangers. It was okay, as soon as he could go back and find Dan at the end of it._

_Him and Dan had dressed up in their subtle matching ways, as they had joked that they should have kept their outfits from the one time they did Stranger Things in a YouTube Rewind. It felt like ages ago._

_Time tended to move fast when you were happy._

_They weren’t allowed to have their phones with them, as to not take photos to share on social media. Not that Phil would have wanted to do so. He knew how much it mattered to experience a thing organically. He knew how much they’re tried to explain that TATINOF shouldn’t be spoiled back in the day._

_But they did get their phones back at the end and they were allowed to take photos in front of Starcourt Mall. The blue lighting left an almost eerie feeling over all the photos._

_“Here, take one of us,” Martyn said, shoving his phone into Dan’s hands._

_“You ask him and not me?” Phil asked, mock-offended._

_“Dan’s got a good eye,” Martyn just said with a teasing smile as he posed with Cornelia._

_“Hey, I take good photos too,” Phil complained but it fell to deaf ears and Dan diligently photographed Martyn and Cornelia._

_When he had taken enough, he pulled out his own phone and gestured at Phil._

_“Come on, I’ll take one of you too,” Dan said. “Do a power pose or something cool.”_

_“I’m always cool.”_

_“I think your outfit would disagree.”_

_“This is a cool outfit,” Phil defended, even if he knew that Dan was just riling him up for the fun of it. They had perfected this art of banter, little pokes here and there but nothing that ever cut through. Just loving little nudging, getting each other to reach. Keeping each other on their toes._

_Dan did end up taking a pretty cool photo of him, Phil decided as he scrolled through the photo roll and sent himself his favourite one. Dan took the phone back and he was about to pocket it when Phil stopped him._

_“One more?”_

_“I thought you already got the one you wanted,” Dan asked confused._

_“I did. You’re the one for me,” Phil said, and he watched as Dan turned flustered and let out a surprise giggle that definitely attracted a few curious eyes._

_“Phil,” Dan whined. “You’re being cheesy.”_

_“Well, you’re the one who said it.”_

_“I clearly meant the photo you wanted, dork,” Dan said._

_“Can’t blame me that I hear ‘the one you wanted’ and think of you, can you?” Phil asked, smiling a little mischievously. He thought his tongue might be poking out based on Dan’s soft expression._

_Dan just huffed out a breath of air and Phil wondered how just that simple action could sound so fond._

_“What do you want then?” Dan asked._

_Phil was tempted to just answer: You. But he had an actual agenda, before he got side-tracked by Dan’s fond noises and silly words._

_“A selfie, of both of us,” he said._

_It wasn’t something they did as often anymore, since they’d travelled less and gone to less things. There wasn’t the need to document and share joint selfies as much anymore but they still took them here and there for themselves. It had been something that had started in a Manchester Apple Store and it was a tradition that was very much alive today._

_“Okay,” Dan said, stepping around Phil to squish them both into the same photo. It had been difficult at first but Dan had long since mastered the art with his long arms._

_Phil looked at him and he just couldn’t stop himself from sliding an arm around Dan’s waist._

_Dan quirked an eyebrow, before he moved his free arm to rest around Phil’s waist. It was nothing big, really, but it just felt intimate. It wasn’t something that they’d normally do in public, not before last year, even if this was fairly innocent._

_Phil liked that they could do this now without much hesitation. He squeezed around Dan._

_The photos turned out derpy because Dan refused to make any nice expressions but frankly, it just made Phil like the photos they took even more. It was so like Dan to pull silly expressions when he felt slightly exposed. But at the same time, he’d willingly and warmly leaned into Phil’s touch, reassuring him that he was okay, even if he couldn’t put on a serious face for the camera._

_Phil sent himself all of the joint selfies immediately despite Dan’s complaints that he should only pick the good ones._

Phil would have liked to say that he sent the tweet without getting emotional but that wasn’t the case. It was a light-hearted tweet, and meant to be silly and funny while allowing a glimpse into their lives, but there was always this type of feeling in his gut whenever he openly loved Dan.

It had been a little scary at first. Loving someone so fiercely had been almost terrifying. Phil had always wondered if he’d find it, someone who made him feel like all the stories and the songs said you’d feel like when you were in love.

He hadn’t quite found that.

He’d found something much better. He had found Dan. His Dan. He could still recall the early signs of love blooming in his stomach when he’d seen a username pop up again and again. When they’d talked and something had just clicked.

The two of them had laid all the ground work that would eventually evolve into an entire world. Phil could never have foreseen it. He loved the videos and tours and community that they had built together but there was nothing he quite loved like being able to look over at Dan every day.

He was just there. Next to him in life. Phil couldn’t think of something more magical and wonderful.

“You’re staring,” Dan said without looking up from his phone. His fingers didn’t even stop moving.

Phil was attuned to Dan, but Dan was also attuned to Phil. It was the reason that they worked. It had always been a two-way street. They’d always loved equally, even if they showed it in different ways. Over the years, they had learned each other’s languages to the level of fluency.

“You’re staring,” Phil said, always reverting back to middle school comebacks when he felt like his brain wasn’t quite focused.

He found it difficult to stay focused on anything around Dan at times. It was like he was sucked into his space and his brain turned to mush. He’d see his dimple deepen or how the light caught his eyes and Phil’s brain would just shut off for a moment. It even happened when Dan was just _there_ , like now.

Dan looked up from his phone and now he was actually staring. Or rather fondly gazing.

“Found your photos of torture?” he asked.

“Do you really want to approve them? You can, you know,” Phil said. He hadn’t really wanted to post any photos that might upset Dan.

Dan rolled his eyes, smile firmly on his lips. Dimple on display. Hair extraordinary long and curly because Dan still refused to let Phil go near his hair with the clippers.

“I trust you,” Dan said, like that was all he needed to say.

And it was, because so many sentiments were packed into those three words. They could carry just as much weight, if not more at times, than another set of three words that meant a lot.

“Good, because I’ve already tweeted it,” he said.

Dan let out a snort. “And if I’d asked to approve the photos?”

“I know you. I know you wouldn’t mind, or you’d have said something earlier.”

“Some days, Phil Lester, I wonder if you know entirely too much about me.”

“I don’t. I’ll never know enough. Because even if I knew every aspect of your past and present, I have to be here for the future too, you know?” Phil muttered, not really paying attention to his words. “I have to learn the stuff to come as well.”

“Phil,” Dan said and this time, it wasn’t the whine. It was a whisper. Phil’s name spoken as a whisper that sounded like it was softly pulled out from Dan’s deepest core.

“What?”

Dan looked at him, something deep and undefinable in his eyes. “Show me the photos.”

“Look them up yourself,” he said, nodding towards Dan’s phone still in his hand.

One beat. Two beats. Three be-

“PHIL!” Dan exclaimed and this was another way Dan said his name. When he was in complete disbelief over whatever Phil had done, but he still couldn’t hide the edge of joy. He liked when Phil surprised him. Dan started laughing. “I’m reporting you; these are horrible.”

“They are beautiful,” Phil defended.

“Even-”

“All of them,” Phil said, cutting Dan off before he could say more. “Every single one of them is beautiful and you know why?”

Dan’s expression softened and Phil wanted to cup his cheeks or poke his dimple.

“Why, Phil?” he asked, playing along.

“Because they tell a story. Each is a story that only we know. A moment for us. Candid photos of you in your natural habit, if you will.”

“I’m not an animal,” Dan argued.

“You act like one sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“Kidding. Well, mostly. But I will not hear any slander for any of my choices. I carefully picked those out of hundreds of potential candidates.”

“Hundreds?” Dan asked, sounding increasingly amused.

“I like taking photos of you, especially candid ones in silly moments. That’s where I love you the most.”

Phil still found it easier to tell Dan that he was loved through action. Words were hard most of the time, but other times, the came to him without event trying. Pure sincerity.

“Come here,” Dan said, letting his phone fall down the side of the sofa as he opened his arms wide and beaconed Phil closer.

Phil didn’t waste any time falling into them, just like he’d done for a decade of birthdays in a row.

**Author's Note:**

> [Reblog on tumblr](https://secretlywritingstories.tumblr.com/post/620659660648742912/heres-some-faves-from-my-camera-roll-this-year) (thank you if you do)
> 
> I wrote this in the span of about 3 hours, so I apologise if I made silly mistakes here and there. It's not quite so polished but I like that. This one is all about the feeling of it regardless.
> 
> I would love to know if you have a favourite section of this fic? I'm having a hard time picking a fave myself but I'd love to know if any particular section resonated with you. Thank you for reading my little one shot.


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